The name Frank Miller once meant a lot to comic books and in many ways, he still does. From 1979 when Miller took over the pencilling job on Daredevil, his name begun to attract much attention for his art. Then, it was just a year and half later when Daredevil editor Dennis O’Neil placed Miller as both writer and artist on the title, transforming it into one of Marvel’s most popular titles. From there, Miller went on to become one of the greatest and highest regarded talents. His work on Daredevil, followed by Ronin and most importantly, the Dark Knight Returns, made Miller into one of the two creators from the 1980s to forever change comics, the other being Alan Moore and his work on Watchmen and Swamp Thing. Even in the late 1980s, Miller was involved in stories such as Daredevil: Born Again and Batman: Year One, both with artist David Mazzucchelli. But, after his work on Sin City, the influence of manga and Japanese art styles changed both Miller’s writing and art styles. Once his work had been praised, but in recent decades, it has been slammed and heavily criticised, especially Holy Terror, a graphic novel which was accused of being Islamophobic. Since then, Miller has been focusing primarily on arguably his most popular creation: The Dark Knight Universe. The Dark Knight Returns remains one of Miller’s most loved stories, yet its sequels and prequels don’t. This review is going to be the first of several covering all of Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Batman stories and it will be in chronological order. Why? I guess so we can see how the characters change with time, but that’s not really a reason. I just did it because it somehow seemed right. Anyway, as I’ve already reviewed Batman: Year One long ago, that means the first story to start with is this meme-tastic mess…
All Star Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder (that’s a mouthful of a title) was intended to be an ongoing monthly series that started in September 2005 and for the first few issues. Then, over time, the series became increasingly delayed and only one issue was released in 2006. From issue 5, the title became bi-monthly, but issue 10 was delayed three times, before it was released and quickly called back due to printing errors (this is comedy gold). Then, I guess DC got lazy and stopped publishing it. It was all “written” by Frank Miller with art by Jim Lee and Scott Williams. Lastly, I have read this trash, I mean story, in the All Star Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder trade
paperback, with the exception of issue 10, which came out so late that they couldn’t reprint it. Therefore, I read issue 10 in its original issue. Right, let’s get on with it…
THE STORY
In Haly’s Circus, a young Dick Grayson performs his aerialist act with his parents, John and Mary Grayson. In Gotham City, columnist Vicki Vale is phoned by Bruce Wayne’s butler, Alfred, who tells her that his master requests her presence tonight. Thrilled, Vicki changes into several different dresses before meeting Alfred, who tells her that she and Bruce are going to the circus. Watching the Flying Grayson’s perform their act at the circus, Bruce tells Vicki that he has been watching Dick Grayson for some time. However, when Bruce tells her that he has an eye for talent, John and Mary Grayson are shot, killed by a sniper in front of their son. As the audience gasps in shock, Bruce disappears and becomes Batman. Outside, Batman finds the killer, Jocko-boy Vanzetti. Using snake poison, Batman takes him out while the police abuse Vicki for trying to help Dick Grayson. She and Alfred leap in their car to try and follow the police, who are taking Dick away to beat him. However, when they follow the police and try to take photographs of them preparing to beat Dick, a swarm of bats appear, before the Batmobile arrives, critically injuring (or even killing) the police along with Vicki and Alfred. Batman gets out of the Batmobile and picks up Dick, telling him that he has been drafted into a war…
Driving away in the Batmobile, Robin is sprayed with sleep gas by Batman. Meanwhile, an injured Alfred tries to help Vicki, who has serious injuries. However, she is far more concerned with Dick Grayson and his whereabouts after Batman took him away, but that is before she faints from blood loss. In the Batmobile, Dick begins to wake up and question Batman, who tells him to shut up. Dick then questions why Batman gives him orders, to which Batman calls him dense, proclaiming himself to be the goddamn Batman. Suddenly, Batman notices that the police are chasing after him and he uses the Batmobile to knock them off the road, them while frightening Dick further. However, the officers manage to run away from the scene before the Batmobile uses its huge exhaust to fly upwards into the sky. Then, Dick begins to scream about his parents, but Batman slaps him. Although Batman knows what he is doing is wrong, he believes it is the only way he can learn. Then, Batman tells Dick about fighting crime and how there is only one cop in Gotham City who is worth speaking to. Batman then tells Dick to be brave…
Six months ago, in a downmarket old pub named the Black Canary, the bartender Dinah Lance becomes sick with all the drunk criminals coming in and trying to flirt with her. With great strength and speed, she takes out all the criminals in the pub, before telling her boss that she is quitting her job. But, when she explains that it is because of Batman she is leaving her job, her boss calls him insane, prompting her to throw him through a window before leaving. In the Batmobile during the present, Robin questions pretty much everything (like us). Why does the Batmobile talk? Why in the voice of Alfred? Why would Batman name his car the Batmobile in a world as grim and lacking in hope such as this one? While the Batmobile travels through the water, Clark Kent notices that Dick Grayson has gone missing and discovers from his newspaper that he was kidnapped by Batman…
While Vicki seemingly bleeds to death in hospital from her injuries, Batman and Robin arrive in the Batcave, which is full of cars, costumes and gadgets that Batman has used in his career. Yet, Dick is unimpressed, and Batman realises how much he dislikes him. While Dick explores the cave, Batman speaks to Alfred, who tells his master that Vicki’s collarbone and ribs have shattered. Batman then tells Alfred to call Clark Kent to find somebody named Ehkart in Paris who can help Vicki. While Superman leaves Metropolis to find Ehkart, Dick tells Batman that his clothes are covered in the blood of his parents. Batman then remembers that the blood of his own parents was on literally on his own hands. He then tells Dick that he will find him some new clothes. Then, Batman leaves, telling him that the cave is all his until he comes back. Batman also tells Dick that his food will present itself as a bat and a rat appear from the darkness. Some time after beating a cop to near death, discovering that Jocko-Boy (murderer of John and Mary Grayson) will walk away from the police tomorrow due to a lack of evidence, Batman returns to the cave. He is shocked to find that Alfred has given Dick a cheeseburger with fries. Batman screams at Alfred, who orders his master to unhand him. Batman then walks away, believing that Dick will ruin everything…
Five hours ago, Wonder Woman enters a secret underground location to meet the Justice League, consisting of Superman, Green Lantern and Plastic Man. Together, (continued)
they all discuss the problem of Batman and how he is ruining the reputation of the superhero community. However, the four heroes have different opinions, with Superman wanting to hand him over to the law, Green Lantern wanting to talk some sense into him, Plastic Man wanting him to join the team and Wonder Woman basically wanting to violently murder him. Wonder Woman then rages at the heroes, telling them that they make her sick as she is disgusted that they just don’t want to kill Batman. Then, as Wonder Woman leaves in anger, she kisses Superman, leaving him to believe that she is a nice woman. In the present, Batman patrols Gotham, violently taking out a group of thugs who attempted to murder a woman nearby. Meanwhile in Wayne Manor, Alfred trains using a punching bag, thinking about his master and hoping that Dick will survive what Bruce is doing to him. In the cave, Dick looks around and finds a giant battle-axe…
At the docks in a rainstorm, Batman notices Black Canary. Three hours ago, fifteen-year-old Barbara Gordon comes home from school to find her dad Captain James Gordon on the phone to Sarah Essen. While she heads into her room, Gordon discusses on the phone that there have been many Batman copycats on the streets. In her room, Barbara puts on her Batgirl costumes, before heading out onto the streets. Five hours ago, photographer Jimmy Olsen heads into hospital to visit Vicki, who is still recovering. Once Jimmy tells her that he has downloaded everything he has on the Flying Graysons and Batman, she gets out of bed and prepares to leave hospital. In the present on the docks, Black Canary fights a group of criminals to near death and steals their money before she is confronted by a group of thugs with guns. Five minutes before, Batman watches as Jocko-Boy is released by the police. However, Batman intervenes and takes out the cops. He then speaks to Jocko-Boy, who mentions the word Blagg a number of times. Yet, Batman leaves as he hears shooting nearby, where Black Canary is. While she is being hunted by criminals, Batman arrives to take them out…
Watching from afar, Black Canary witnesses as Batman takes out the criminals using fire and explosives. Afterwards, Batman and Black Canary kiss, before the Batmobile arrives. Carrying Jocko-Boy, Batman heads into the Batmobile with Black Canary, who is dropped off by Batman when they reach her home. Afterwards, Batman heads to the cave, where Dick has killed a rat using the battle-axe to eat it. Batman presents Dick with Jocko-Boy, the man who murdered his parents. Batman then tells Dick to make a choice be an avenger or a detective. Instead of killing Jocko-Boy, Robin uses the axe to injure him, before kicking him until he gets an answer out of him about who hired him to kill his parents. Jocko-Boy reveals it was the Joker, an answer Batman doesn’t like…
After sleeping with an attorney that hunts down child molesters, the Joker strangles her to death before leaving. In the cave, Dick asks Batman about the Joker. Batman explains that he is a serial killer who murders either for profit or pleasure. Then, as Dick tells Batman that they should get to work, Batman tells him that he isn’t ready and that he needs a costume and a mask, along with a secret identity. Then, Batman calls Dick Boy Wonder, which he doesn’t like, and he decides to think of his own name. Later in the Batmobile, Batman notices the Green Lantern symbol in the sky. While Batman throws Jocko-Boy in the river, Dick thinks about his secret identity, thinking of Robin Hood. Then, Dick tells Alfred that he wants some tights, a mask, a hood and a cape. Meanwhile, Batman meets Green Lantern, Hal Jordan, who wants to talk to Batman. He agrees, but Batman tells him that they will meet at a specific place at a specific time, leaving Green Lantern thinking that he doesn’t really like him. Meanwhile in Gotham’s East End, Catwoman (Selina Kyle) is met with the Joker, who wants to use her in a scheme of his. Arriving back in the cave, Batman finds Dick in his new secret identity, Hood. However, when Batman approaches him, he pulls the hood down, covering his face. Batman tells Dick to lose the hood and call himself Robin…
Using one of his safe houses, Batman and Robin spend a day painting the whole of it and themselves yellow, awaiting Green Lantern, who is weak to the colour yellow. As Green Lantern explains to Batman that he must lower his profile as he is scaring people, Batman listens while drinking lemonade. Then, Batman explains that as superheroes, they are criminals fighting criminals. Green Lantern then punches Batman and fights him, but it ends when Robin appears. Green Lantern then tells Batman that he knows Robin is Dick Grayson, yet Batman tells him that Robin isn’t Dick. Instead, Batman tells Green Lantern that he did save Dick from a group of corrupt cops, but then he admitted him to a trauma clinic. Dick then made his first statement yesterday, explaining that Batman is actually nice. This confuses Green Lantern and when Batman explains that he first met Robin six years in Istanbul, he decides to leave. However, Batman tells Green Lantern that Robin has his power ring, which he does. Robin then teases with Green Lantern, before jabbing him in the throat. As Green Lantern begins to choke to death, Batman throws Robin off him and punches him to the ground. Then, Batman takes his mask off, shocking Robin as he has never realised that Batman is Bruce Wayne. Luckily, Green Lantern is saved and after they leave the safehouse, Batman takes Robin to the graveyard where John and Mary Grayson are. Together, Batman and Robin hold onto each other, mourning those who they have lost…
One week later, Captain James Gordon wanders around the docks, talking to himself about Batman and Superman, before remembering why he is at the docks. Some time
beforehand, a cop found Catwoman critically injured. She handed a note over to him, telling him that it needs to reach Batman. Suddenly, Catwoman vanished into the sewer. Back in the present, Gordon takes the note out of his pocket and drops it into the water, telling himself that it isn’t worth a damn to anybody. Some time later, Batman and Robin find the note, which says “The First Time” written on it. Heading into the underground and then into the sewers, Batman and Robin find Catwoman, who is critically injured. She tries to tell Batman that it was the Joker, but she can’t. Less than an hour ago, Batgirl takes out a group of gangsters at an amusement park. At the same time, Black Canary takes out some gangsters, but she leaves the scene before the police can arrest her. Six minutes later. Gordon arrives at the scene of a crashed car which was driven by his wife, Barbara. Earlier on, Barbara was at a club for about six hours and kept drinking alcohol. Afterwards, she left the bar and crashed her car. Gordon is then told that that his wife was found by an ambulance nearby. Thirteen minutes ago, Batgirl is attacked and arrested by the police. Later in hospital, Gordon is told that his wife’s condition is stable, but her body is being ruined by alcohol and that it is lucky that she can still be able to breathe. Then, Gordon is told that his daughter has been arrested. Later, Gordon speaks to his daughter, who explains that she simply dressed as Batman because he is cool. Then, Barbara is told about her mother and she explains to Gordon that he should speaks to Sarah Essen again. Afterwards, Gordon speaks to Essen on the phone and tells her about his problems…
MY THOUGHTS
Yep, that’s where it ends! There was going to be an eleventh issue, but the title was cancelled before it was even close to being published. Most would say that the decision was a godsend and while it was, I do hate it when stories, even the crap ones, are left unresolved. Anyway, when you search for articles, reviews and forums about this series, you will undoubtedly stumble across the usual satire and jokes about it. The Goddamn Batman. Painting a whole room and themselves yellow. Are you dense or retarded? You know, all that kind of stuff and because of that, most fans dislike this series, but with love. The writing is so awful and bad that they laugh at it and I was once one of those because the series is so ridiculous and over-the-top. However, after reading this travesty once again for this review, my opinion of it has changed slightly. Do I now like the story? No. Now, I really despise it and if anything, the woeful dialogue that I once chuckled at now just irritates me as it shows that Miller really doesn’t care about the characters he is writing for. Before we get into that though, I think its best to start from the top and lambast the story from its very start...
So, you may have noticed that when I wrote the plot of each issue earlier, some were much shorter than others. The simple reason for this is that in terms of crucial plot, there really isn’t too much. However, this means that there are many more scenes featuring awful dialogue and conversations between twisted characters that Miller has tampered around with just for his own convenience. The first issue simply sets up the scene and it seems very early on that Vicki Vale is going to be our eyes as she is the only character that features in nearly every scene. Admittedly, this does work as she is suspicious of Bruce Wayne, yet she somehow doesn’t realise that he is Batman. Also, why would Bruce take her on a date to the circus when he has that much money. Also, wouldn’t Vicki be rather confused when Bruce tells her that he has an eye for talent while staring at a 12-year-old boy who loses his parents. Very early on in the story, it is hinted that Bruce has been watching Dick for a while, believing him to be a great candidate to be a sidekick. But why? Why would Bruce be watching him? There really aren’t any similarities between the two of them, even when Dick’s parents are killed. Anyway, what bothers me more is the way that Dick’s parents are killed. Originally, they were killed when the circus refused to pay a protection racket to a gangster, who then warned the circus that something terrible will soon happen, which was obviously the deaths of John and Mary Grayson. However, it wasn’t a sniper from Jocko-Boy that killed them and there was certainly no mention of the Joker. Why would he care? Why would the Joker just decide to hire a criminal to take out two aerialists? It isn’t even something the Joker would do. The problem is that Miller has always written the Joker as not the Joker. Apart from visually, Miller’s depiction of the Joker and the one seen in most of other stories are very different, to the point where they could be different characters. There is also a bit later in the story when the Joker strangles a woman to death for no real reason and nearly kills Catwoman. Why does he do any of this? We’ll never know because the series was cancelled. Plus, why the hell does he have a dragon tattoo on his back? There are loads of questions that I could be asking. Is there much point? Anyhow, Batman kidnaps Robin and the scenes that take place in the Batmobile last about four issues. Really, they should end up in the Batcave at the end of issue two, as when it lasts for four issues, Miller angers me with his ridiculous dialogue that completely ruins Batman and doesn’t even really resemble the Batman he writes in stories such as Batman: Year One and The Dark Knight Returns. Speaking of which, this story clearly takes place early in Batman’s career, since in The Dark Knight Returns, there is a mention of Jason Todd, the second Robin. How, in just a year or so, did Batman’s character change from how it was in Year One to this psychotic egotist that decides to slap a child after his parents were murdered in front of his very eyes. This isn’t Batman. This is a villain that deserves to be locked up for abusing everyone and anyone, whether they are good or evil. These scenes in the Batmobile are definitely the ones which hold the most memes, which the Goddamn Batman and the dense and retarded line. Seriously, that is catastrophically (continued)
awful dialogue. It is also worth mentioning that Batman basically destroys a load of police cars (yeah, they are corrupt but still) and is directly responsible for what happened to both Alfred and Vicki. Seriously, I’m surprised Alfred doesn’t argue with his master about it or threaten to leave, since it shows how Batman’s mission is the only thing he cares about. From there, the whole story involving Batman and Dick slows down to pretty much nothing. Dick spends a load of issues eating rats in the cave (good parenting by Batman there) while Batman looks for Jocko-Boy and gets his end away with Black Canary in the rain. In fact, I think now is a good time to mention some of the other characters that feature in this series, two of those being Black Canary and Batgirl. Their reasons for becoming heroes? Because they like Batman? Not really a good enough reason to be honest. Needs a bit more depth than Miller wants to give. Out of the two, Black Canary is the one that annoys me the most. In titles such as Green Arrow (vol 2) by Mike Grell, Black Canary was handled excellently, as she was a strong character that worked well on her own. Here however, Miller for some reason makes her into an Irish smoker that works in a bar. Was that really necessary? To me, that is just a change with no intention that was overall pointless. Also, Miller completely ruined her character by making her into like a sidekick for Batman at one point. Black Canary worked so well because she had the potential to be an independent strong character, something that Miller clearly ignored. Then there is Batgirl, whose origin here reminds me somewhat of Batgirl: Year One, but if it was written by somebody who doesn’t know how teenagers speak and react. Batgirl here is boring, lacking any of her charm or strength that the character originally had. Her story in the series is way too sporadic, as she first appears midway through the series and doesn’t appear again until the last part. There isn’t any consistency with the story. It is clear that Miller can’t write an ongoing title with a huge cast of characters to save his life. Then there is the Justice League, who shouldn’t be as narcissistic as Batman, but they are. Miller completely ruins Wonder Woman with some of the most flippant dialogue ever. Its like she bi-polar or something. She calls every man a sperm bank and thinks that the Justice League is full of wimps. I don’t know why but Miller decides to start the romance between Superman and Wonder Woman after they have a huge argument, which feels very unnatural and strange. Then there is Green Lantern, who Batman calls a moron, which I guess he is. Seriously, Hal Jordan just comes across as an indecisive loser who says one of the worst lines in the whole series. He says to the Justice League talking about Batman and Dick: “We’ve got no actual proof he actually kidnapped that kid. All we’ve seen is a news photo of him tossing the young fellah into his car”. What? That is like saying, ‘I don’t know if he’s the murderer, but I saw him shoot the victim. Stupid. Plastic Man is the only one who is sort of untouched, as he is still as annoying as he normally is. Superman doesn’t seem too different either, he is just very grim, so I guess he isn’t really like Superman at all. I know that I’m saying that Miller doesn’t write these characters how they should be a lot and yeah, this is his universe, but there has to be some respect for the original characters, how they act and their dialogue. Here, Miller just changes the characters as he sees fits, almost as if he can’t be bothered to write them how they should be. I suppose the only real story of interest here is the one involving Captain James Gordon, as we witness how he deals with the troubles of his personal life involving his drunk wife and his daughter pretending to be Batman. Poor guy, you really have to feel for him, even in this mess of a story. Really, Gordon needed to be present more and he should have met Batman at least once in it. The problem is that Miller was dragging everything out, saving it for later issues, but as the title got cancelled, all the potentially interesting content was never seen. It’s also worth mentioning that this series has something very un-Frank Miller about it. What is that? Well, some scenes, particularly the last issue, are incredibly verbose and overly wordy. In stories such as the Dark Knight Strikes Again, Miller basically leaves out any dialogue or is very conservative with it. Here, he unleashes so many captions and dialogue, but the problem with nearly all of it is that its about characters that we either don’t care about or find extremely boring and dull. Seriously, there were so many times with this series where I just wanted to put the thing down because I was bored out of my mind and even when it wasn’t boring, it was still awful and I haven’t even gotten to the issue where they paint everything yellow! Getting onto that, the conclusion to Robin’s story, involving Jocko-Boy anyway, is actually very unpredictable, but for the wrong reasons. Will Robin kill Jocko-Boy? Honestly, you think he might because Miller has twisted these characters so much, ruined Robin’s life and shown us a world where Batman isn’t afraid to beat criminals to near death. However, Robin doesn’t kill him, and he find out the Joker is the real bad guy. Then we get issue 9, in which Batman and Robin paint the whole room yellow just to ensure that Green Lantern doesn’t attack them. I really don’t have any (continued)
words for this. It’s just ridiculous and I don’t know if Miller was trying to be funny or serious, as the dialogue is still written incredibly grimly and there really isn’t any entertainment value in it. There is also the strange scene in which Robin nearly kills Green Lantern, which comes out of nowhere, but it does give Batman the excuse to beat the kid again. I guess the ending of issue 9 is sort of meaningful as Robin says goodbye to his parents (even though I have no idea why we didn’t see their funeral). It’s the only real time in the story in which Batman shows any sympathy with Robin. Lastly, the final issue of the story starts a plot that was never finished, involving Catwoman and the Joker. I do wish it was completed, not because it was good, but just because I despise it when stories aren’t complete. Even if it’s awful, it still deserves an ending. But the chances are, the ending to the series would have been crap anyway, especially knowing what happens to Dick Grayson in stories such as The Dark Knight Strikes Again…
Without a shadow of a doubt, the best thing to come out of this train wreck of a series was the fantastic art by Jim Lee and Scott Williams. Seriously, it actually makes the story somewhat readable as the art is full of dramatic storytelling and even if it’s a bad scene, Lee manages to keep it interesting. I mean, imagine if Miller himself has drawn this? If that had been the case, then this would have been completely unreadable. The only real criticism of the art is that sometimes, the inks can look rather over-excessive with the amount of small lines that are used. However, is there a better inker for Jim Lee than Scott Williams? The answer is and always will be no. That said, the real sad thing about this is that Jim Lee is a real talent and despite his great art here, it is wasted on this awful messy series. Lee has worked on Batman: Hush by Jeph Loeb and that is an undoubtable classic which benefits highly from Lee’s work. All Star Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder doesn’t necessarily benefit from the artwork by Lee and Williams. It only makes the series bearable since nothing can save the awful writing and dialogue of Frank Miller.
VERDICT
Overall, All-Star Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder is… just terrible. There really aren’t many redeeming features about it. Miller shows how awfully he writes dialogue and how he twisted excellent characters, transforming them into boring shells full of hate and anger. The story is borderline non-existent at times or very vague and even when a story is fully present, it is all so cluttered and the appearances of characters like Black Canary and Batgirl feel so random, as if they are an afterthought. To many, All-Star Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder is a treasure trove of old outdated Batman memes that may be awful, but the memes overshadow that. But, to me, All-Star Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder is undoubtedly one of the worst comic books I have ever read. It just shows how much control and influence Miller really had over the characters, to the point where he tampers with them to alter them into unrecognisable beings that don’t really resemble the characters that they should. The art may be great, but never forget that the story is woeful…
Story: 1.5/10
Art: 9/10
Next Week: Spawn/Batman. Written by Frank Miller with art by Todd McFarlane. Expected by 09/08/2020
コメント