After the joyous break that was the early Batman stories from Detective Comics, we sadly find ourselves back into the thick of it. Really, since Delano became writer with Animal Man (vol 1) 51, the title and its characters changed and reflected less and less what they were originally intended to be. However, here, and particularly in the next and final Animal Man Delano review, the characters are no longer even shallow imitations. Delano changes Animal Man into something else and this set of stories, quite literally as you’ll learn, prove that the original Buddy Baker and his family are dead and buried. On that cheery note, I guess I should explain what the hell The Children’s Crusade is. During the 1990s, DC effectively made all of their annuals fit into one monolithic storyline that connected them all. You’d get all sorts of either forgotten or remembered only with dread tales like Bloodlines, Armageddon 2001, or Eclipso: The Darkness Within. In 1993, Vertigo decided to do the same and that storyline was The Children’s Crusade, which took the main child-characters from all the Vertigo titles (Maxine from Animal Man, Dorothy from Doom Patrol, Tefe (Alec Holland’s child) from Swamp Thing, among others) and placed them into a deceptive fantasy land. As you can just about tell from my lack of detail, I’ve never read it and don't have much interest in-doing so, but as Delano is contractually obliged, he has to somehow shoehorn Maxine and her family into the story? How well does he do so? Do I even need to tell you?
Animal Man (vol 1) 64-70 was published from October 1993 to April 1994, with the Annual released in December 1993. The stories were written by Jamie Delano with art by William Simpson, Dan Steffan, Steve Pugh, Russell Braun, Tom Sutton, and Rafael
Kayanan. I’ve read the issues in the Animal Man Volume Seven: Red Plague trade paperback.
Breath of God --- Written by Jamie Delano with art by Will Simpson and Dan Steffan
Delano’s effort to throw us back into the Animal Man story is to reignite it with, as usual, misery. With the Baker family back on the farm, some normality returns. Usually, I would really like a story like this, particularly after the insane and dreary stories that preceded it. However, this isn’t exactly a “day-in-the-life” story unfortunately. It begins with Maxine and Cliff going to school before Ellen works her job as a comic book artist. Meanwhile, Buddy speaks with Annie (if you’ll remember, a character from the last wonderful Animal Man issue) and basically talks of all of his stresses over recent events. If it wasn’t obvious enough, especially since the two of them are linked to the Red, something is clearly going to happen between them and in a Delano fashion, it will have huge impact until it actually occurs, then at which point everyone just forgets about it. Anyway, the real “event” of the story is that Ellen is phoned by Maxine’s school, who, upon meeting them, basically reprimand Ellen for bringing up her children retardedly. I’m not even joking. Sure, this is Vertigo. But why does it have to be a world where everyone is a bastard. Stuff like this really annoys me because it doesn’t make the story enjoyable to read. One grim event after another isn’t going to make me enjoy the story. If anything, I’ll be more turned off it and therefore put it down. Regardless, Maxine later explains that she was bullied at school and somehow, using her link to the Red, brought a dead racoon back to life. Instead of her bullies naturally running away in fear as anyone would, they bully her more and she is somehow blamed for it. Sigh. But, while all this is going on, Ellen’s mother sits on the balcony asleep. How lucky she was.
Story: 2/10
Art: 4/10
Perfumed Garden/Communion/Misfit --- Written by Jamie Delano with art by Will Simpson, Steve Pugh, Russell Braun, Tom Sutton, and Rafael Kayanan
This one here is the most significant story of the lot, partly because it includes a huge annual. It begins with Buddy and Ellen, who have not seen much of their children recently due to the events of Flesh and Blood, and also the Wild four-parter, spending time alone in a forest. To condense it down from the cringey dialogue, Ellen decides she wants crazy animal sex. Not quite moving on, Cliff if the having the exact opposite problem with Lucy (another grand character from Tooth and Claw). Call me old fashioned, but because of the way these characters first debuted in Animal Man (vol 1) 1 way back in 1988, this just doesn’t feel right. These aren’t the same characters. If Delano wanted characters like this to act like this, then he should have simply created a new title. The problem is that he’s brought his style of writing from Hellblazer to Animal Man, and that’s a problem. No matter how hard you try, the two styles are just never going to be the same and that is why partly Animal Man by Delano was always going to be a failure. Anyway, back with Maxine, she escapes from the house and meets Myra and Selene, two characters who may or not have been in that lesbian group who helped Ellen in the Wild story. I say I can’t remember because I really don’t care. These two are the most pointless characters of the whole run and you’ll see why soon. Back with Buddy and Ellen, she is clearly turned off from animal sex for a while and as she comes home to realise her home is quickly becoming a hotel, Buddy meets with his mother-in-law (who, thanks to bad inking, looks like a gangrene victim). Anyway, for the first time ever, the two have a pleasant and non-aggressive conversation which spirals into a question of belief in God. Buddy isn’t surprised to find that she does believe, but more shocked to find God himself standing close behind. As a young girl, Mary (Buddy’s mother-in-law) was playing, and she found a small hollow in a tree. She followed and inside was God, a fur-coated masculine being. It wandered away, and in fear, Mary didn’t follow. She tells Buddy of the regret she felt, but now Buddy has his own chance. Buddy follows the creature through the forests and mountains, before the trail ends when he finds a group of them waiting for him. He approaches them and in some of the most drug-infused and implicit scenes in comic book history, Buddy experiences the past, the future and everything else at once. That sounded good, didn’t it. Because that was just a stab in the dark. Either way, Buddy awakens later in his bed, only to disturb Ellen who screams at the sight of Buddy. From his experience with the gods, Buddy now has alien eyes. Not exactly the greatest cliff-hanger ever, but it plays a big part in the annual. Speaking of which, prepare yourselves for forty pages of nonsense! It begins with the norm: Maxine annoying her brother, who in-turn threatens to kill a frog. For the first time, Maxine resorts to violence and attacks her brother. As she hides away in tears from the others, she overhears them talking about how she is growing to be wild and no longer normal. For once, everything seems to go alright as Buddy comforts her and the two have a normal relationship for once. But then, we return to the insanity. Inexplicitly, animals of all kinds find refuge in the forest surrounding the Baker farm. Just because they’re involved with The Red doesn’t explain that. Regardless, the local authorities find dead tropical animals nearby and an officer confronts Buddy and attempts to arrest him, especially because Buddy Baker has been registered as dead for months.
Suddenly, Maxine attacks with the help of elephant friends. With that, the policeman escapes, but the Bakers must prepare for the worst. Naturally, Mary takes charge and basically orders Myra and Selene to leave as they effectively don’t belong here. So, what was the point of them? Nothing. Their first scene is their debut, their second is their last for this story. Seriously, what was the point of them even turning up? Meanwhile nearby, Ray Dillinger, leader of the Department of Biologically Enhanced Criminality and Eco-Subversion, has prepared a military team to “keep tabs on Buddy and his family” (i.e., go in there and shoot anything that moves). However, the Bakers manage to trick the military by continuing to pretend that Buddy is dead, and that the family are emotionally broken. This all works fine, until Dillinger notices a rhino nearby. With that, all hell breaks loose. As Maxine tries to escape with her animals through the forest, she is soon caught up with by the military and they open fire on the animals. She herself is unharmed and she escapes into a bush, only to run into a talking rabbit named Jack. He begs for her help as children, animals and plants are dying in an evil world and that she must help them reach Free Country, the place without adults. Although somewhat forced, Maxine joins Jack the Rabbit to help him. Meanwhile, a naked Buddy Baker finds Maxine running into a tree hollow with dogs chasing her. Although he tries to follow her and violently tears apart the dogs to do so, Dillinger and her men arrive and attempt to arrest Buddy. However, he doesn’t resist, and he only begs for his daughter to be safe. Luckily, the medics arrive and save an unconscious Maxine, not long before Dillinger is criticised heavily by her employers for the awful mission that had no purpose since the Bakers didn’t have bombs, drugs or weapons. With that, the military leave and life goes on. Yep, that ties up everything in this most convoluted story ever. There’s never any consistent mood or tone for the story. It feels like many different story ideas stuck together and by the end, you wonder what the point of them all is. The Children’s Crusade tie in was very pointless, partly because it added nothing to the Animal Man story, but also because Maxine returns quickly anyway, even if it is a double as she wishes that she could be in two places at once. Yeah, that also plays a part later. The military attack may add some action into the story, something the title most definitely needed after the previous issues, but because it feels so pointless and is only really a part of the story to fill pages, then it just isn’t great storytelling. More and more, the title is changing into something it never has been and something it never should be. It’s a great shame for obvious reasons, but it’s even worse that it has fallen to such depths and, spoiler alert, continues to do so.
Story: 1/10
Art: 2.5/10
Mysterious Ways --- Written by Jamie Delano with art by Steve Pugh
After that mess, you would hope to return to some form of normality and for a time, it seems that is exactly what happens. Well, apart from the beginning. Buddy is woken up in the night by Ellen to find Maxine, once again, covered in mud and smiling demonically as she has done permanently since she woke up from her coma. Moving on from the discount Exorcist plot for a bit, most of the story focuses on Cliff and his (continued)
normal day as a kid, except he is angry that everyone has seemed to forget that today is his birthday. Annoyed, he wanders around and after being spooked by his father, who is now transforming his body into all-sorts of creatures using the Red, Cliff does some chores for Selene. Still don’t know why she is hanging around, but okay. However, Cliff is run over by a police officer while on his bike. The officer, Dan Patterson, helps Cliff up before the two finally realise who each other are. Patterson was the police officer present during the military’s raid of the Baker farm and Cliff is, naturally, still annoyed about it. However, Patterson, and his wife Evelyn, heal Cliff at their home and the three become good friends. Dan is a character here who feels completely separate from any Vertigo story. He’s funny, kind, thoughtful, and not a bloody murdering psychopath. Sometimes in comics, characters like him who are minor, but play a role in the story, should be remembered to show that there is still hope. Shame that doesn’t last long. Dan and Evelyn decide to drive Cliff home, partly to explain what happened to his parents and also to help Maxine, as Evelyn has this vague and hidden mental power that could cure her. With some hope and optimism for once, we head into the second part looking forward to it. After a laborious scene where all the characters talk grimly about their miscarriages and partner’s kicking their stomach to kill their still-born children, Cliff arrives to find that his family have remembered his birthday and there’s a celebration. All the characters have fun, the atmosphere is happy, and everyone is getting on. Then, we come down to business. It’s never quite clear what powers Evelyn has and how they work, but they appear to heal people using her psychic mind. Either way, as a cheery Dan leaves to go on the beat, Evelyn uses her powers to try and cleanse Maxine and restore her. Evelyn’s powers do work but fail to break through Maxine’s mind. Instead, it’s Lucy who is cured. Her leukaemia is gone forever. In that sense it’s cheery but was I the only one to forget that she even had leukaemia. She hasn’t appeared much since Tooth and Claw and when she does, her illness is either glossed over or just completely forgotten. But that isn’t where the story loses its way. No. That comes when Evelyn receives a phone call. Moments ago, Dan was shot dead by a crazy driver. What a way to end. Maxine is still crazy, and the only nice character has been violently murdered. Therefore, what was the point of this story? Was it just to remind us that Lucy existed, or was it just to raise our hopes so high just to then pull the carpet from under our feet so we fall back into the miserable excrement? I think the answer is a bit of both, but until the ending, this story was developing to be one of the better ones in the run. Sure, it still had the same problems as all the other stories, those issues being the dull dialogue, fake characters, and the reference to miserable efforts which do nothing but annoy me in their grimness. But I thought this story was going to be different. I was sadly wrong, but not at all surprised…
Story: 4/10
Art: 3/10
Cold, Cold, Cold…/A Strange and Restless Freedom --- Written by Jamie Delano with art by Steve Pugh
No longer in a false sense of security over whether the story will be happy or not, Delano goes all out with he grimmest one yet. On a snowy cold night, Maxine leaves the farm on her own, with Ellen watching her and deciding to do nothing about it. I guess she’s just mentally paralysed, but there’s never really an explanation for why she just sits there doing nothing. Regardless, as Mary tries to warm her up, Buddy and
Cliff head out to find Maxine in the snow. While all this is going on, Myra becomes very woe-is-me and believes that she is a bad omen on the house. She asks to leave with Selene, and they both do. Don’t really care, since they’re character’s who’ve added nothing to run whatsoever. Back to the characters we care about, Buddy and Cliff continue their search, only to find to Maxine’s cold corpse out in the snowy fields. Yep, Maxine is dead. When in the Morrison run Ellen, Maxine, and Cliff were all killed, that was a truly shocking and sad moment. Under Morrison, these were characters we cared about. They felt real and because of that, we cared about them. Therefore, when a Maxine who is nothing like the original dies in a blizzard, I’m not even affected by it. I just don’t care about it anymore. These aren’t the same characters and therefore, why should I care. It doesn’t help that Buddy makes a truly dreadful speech about how, in the end, we are all just food for the animals. I’m sorry, but your young daughter has died, but to him that is the least of his worries. This moment is one of those when you realise that this title is Animal Man in name only. This isn’t the Baker family, or the world we recognise them in. As I said earlier, this should have been a new title created by Delano and then, he could have done whatever he wanted with the characters. The second part begins with the funeral. The family are obviously devastated and in a moment of grief and depression, Buddy has an affair with Annie as it has something to do with the Red, or something. Although she doesn’t know anything about it, Ellen tells Buddy that she is leaving him for a bit to stay with her friends in the city (not again). Ellen still blames herself for what happened and she… oh forget it. This all means nothing as at the end of the story, Cliff visits Maxine’s grave only to find that she has dug out of it alive and well, no longer demonic looking. Umm, how? I know that this is linked to the Children’s Crusade somehow as she made a promise with that fat talking rabbit, but her coming back is never explained. And when the next issues begin, Delano makes it into a totally different comic once again (we’ll save that for next week). Regardless, because of the ending, it makes this whole story pointless. I liked it when characters in comics died for good and I know that in Morrison’s run, the Baker family did come back from the dead. However, that was under very different circumstances as it was a comic in which its writer was actually the puppet master who could therefore do crazy things. Delano’s Animal Man sells itself as a pseudo-realistic Vertigo book and therefore, Maxine dying and then coming back in the space of one issue is just implausible. As always, this comic has completely wasted your time and you’re reading of this has too.
Story: 1.5/10
Art: 3/10
THE ART BY WILL SIMPSON, DAN STEFFAN, STEVE PUGH, RUSSELL BRAUN, TOM SUTTON, AND RAFAEL KAYANAN
Usually here, I’d talk about all the artists and what they all individually bring to the title and its art. Unfortunately, since Vertigo is very reminiscent of the DC art direction from the 1950s, everyone draws in a very similar style and therefore, any uniqueness is unapparent. I suppose Steve Pugh is the main artist of the lot here, and overall, it’s just as grim as any other Vertigo artist. His art seems to focus very much on facial reactions. Some of the faces look very detailed, particularly in dark lighting, while the rest of the panel is just filled with ink splodges and lines in a bad attempt to draw the human anatomy. With the exception of Pugh, none of these artists went on to work on anything of fame or note, and that’s not hugely surprising. All of these artists lack any life in their work. Everybody looks virtually dead, and the dim colouring adds to that. Plainly put, it just isn’t very nice to look at and it doesn’t energise the stories in the way that great art should…
VERDICT
Overall, Animal Man: Mysterious Ways is undeniably awful and dreary, and the problem is that anytime it looks as if it’s moving in a different direction tonally, it reverts back to the same old miserable and grim storytelling. The Breath of God had some potential, as did Mysterious Ways, but Delano couldn’t help but just trash them and make them into forgettable stories. The major story here featuring the military has some much-needed action, but it doesn’t have much of a purpose and it once again proves that the title isn’t the same as it was under Morrison, Milligan, or even Veitch for that matter. And then, just to top it all off, it concludes with a pointless story featuring the death and rebirth of the same character. For Christ’s sake, get someone in who can actually write good comic books…
Stories: 2/10
Art: 3/10
Next Week: Animal Man: Red Plague (Animal Man (vol 1) 71-79). Written by Jamie Delano with art by Russell Braun, Tom Sutton, Steve Pugh, Gene Fama, and Peter Snejbjerg.
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